The Producers, Writers, and simply two funny guys (andyandjoestory) wrote,
The Producers, Writers, and simply two funny guys
andyandjoestory
andyandjoestory

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IN THE BEGINING!!!

::setting: the mall::

mike: i have this girl who insists on annoying me! always "Talk to me mike" or "rp with me mike" i have a girlfriend damnit!!!

joe: hey mike i have no life.. if you ever have a girl who needs a guy to keep her company you know who to call.. heh

::andy appears out of nowhere::

andy: yeah, he does know who to call, and don't worry joe, he has my number

::mike walks away and leaves joe and andy to their usual idiocy::

joe: you already have a girl you selfish bastard!!!

andy: ((i would just like to note that no matter how far this goes it is all just something i made up to scare little kids...like the boogey man or michael jackson)) i don't care, i'm feeling like my mimbo self again

joe: fair enough,. but what if she like smart guys?

andy: we'll have 2-way walkie talkies and you can send up info

joe: and i would give you help in stealing the person i don't know yet may love why?

andy: because with my sexiness, and you're brains, we're an unstoppable duo

joe: true.. but you'll be getting all the action!

andy: well, we don't want to crush the poor girl...remember last time??? besides, maybe she'll have a friend, like in all those pornos that everyone seems to think they live in

joe: hmm... but i love this girl! ..or i may if i ever meet her.. i do not love her friend!!!

andy: fine, i'll take the friend, besides, usually in movies ...this is not related to the porno movies that was mentioned earlier.. it's the friend that ends up being the main character for some reason...either that or the killer, but whatever, works for me...

joe: fine you can have the friend. she may be more important and sexier but she's a killer... oh fuck it i'll take the friend, must have sexy, important, possible murderer... but wait the other one won't kill me and i love.. oh why must i be forced with these choices?!?!

andy: we'll do eenee meenee mynee mo...or something...

joe: indeed, there can be only mo!!!! ..hey, uhm.. if i get the killer will she kill me..?

andy: umm, it matters, if i am the main character, yes...if you have sex with her, yes...if it's the beginning of the movie, yes...if at any point before going into a room with her, you said "i'll be right back", yes...if you are played by a bad actor, yes...if you're the comic releif, yes...if none of this is true you'll probably live...for a while.

joe: i am unsatisfied with this contract.. i am the comic releif, i'm choosing her FOR sex, i always say brb... i think i'll take the one i love, and have yet to meet. you can have the killer...

andy: fine with me, all my major organs froze over a few years back making me unable to be killed by being stabbed or shot. she'll have to come up with one hell of a way to kill me because blood loss isn't a problem when it's frozen...ahhh, the power of always being cold...

joe: damn.. not fair i never get cold. oh the agony of having good blood circulation!!! it denies me sex, makes me mortal.. what a cruel world. hey wait doesn't that mean you can't do anything with the friend since we all know what the cold does to guys "members"..

andy: well, i must admit that it did do a little but my superior wang was not too badly hurt, and what was missing was easily made up...can someone say swedish made wang enlarger

joe: hhmmm... swedish aye?... what's the number for switzerland?

andy: it's a long number...hold on, i'll look for it...ahh there it is... it's 1-800-i-swear-its-not-mine-baby

joe: hmm... ::dials up number:: damnit that's a porn line!.. mhhmmm... not that i'm listening.. oh that's nice.. uhm.. no!, i shall resist the porn for i am in love with the girl i do not know!! ::hangs up phone:: and another thing.. uhm.. hmm.. the sexy phone girl has broken my train of thought.. maybe i should call her back.. uhm, to remember what i was talking about it mean.. heh heh

andy: go ahead joe, you wouldn't want to lose your train of thought...i missed my train and it never came back...besides, talking ain't cheating

joe: ::slams down phone triumphantly:: then we shall find the engineer and kill him with the aid of the the friend of the girl who i love but don't know yet!!! ::picks up cell phone:: uhm.. i may need to make some calls on the way...

andy: ::smacks self in disbelief:: why me??? fine, let's go

((::in deep announcer voice:: and so andy and joe set off to vanquish the evil train driving guy so they could set right all that was wrong and so that joe may have the girl he loves but has yet to meet and andy could have her friend who will probably kill him.

Real Joe: wow, cool voice-over!))

joe: uhm.. where was this train guy anyway..?

andy: ummm...either the train station or hooters...let's check hooters first...heheheh

((::deep announcers voice again:: and so joe and andy set out to hooters.. for purely vengeance related things of course...

Real Andy: please make the voice stop...))

andy: ::inside hooters:: damn it, he's not here...i'm hungry, i saw a pizza place a little down the road, let's eat there.

joe: ..such unholy words... you wish to leave hooters!? .. that train driving bastard is controlling you isn't he? WE'LL CATCH YOU OLD MAN, WE'LL CATCH YOU!!!!

andy: i don't want to eat here, it's a disgrace to women, and it's a disgrace to the men that eat here...it's disgusting that someone would actually dress like these girls just to serve a few hamburgers and...

::cut-scene to andy and joe sitting at table::

andy: ::sighs:: hooter burger please

joe: if only you knew the power of the dark side.. oh and i'll have a hooter's burger, do it well. ::takes out cell phone and hits "redial":: heh heh, hey andy listen to this... ::hands him the phone::

andy: what am i listening too any way??::face slowly turns from slight smile to morbid frown::

joe: uhm... ::grabs back phone:: it was the girl i love yet haven't met... or so i choose to beleive, anyway on to more pressing issues- where is our hooter girl with our food?! i require nurishment to vanquish to evil engineer

andy: yeah really, you girls suck at your
job ::waitress in backround "we know"::...well that girl was very hooterific...remind me to use words that don't have a double meaning next time...anyway, while we are waiting for service, let's discuss what we are gonna do when we find this engineer that we are looking for.

joe: uhm.. i think we should uhm.. hurt him and steal back your thoughts! ::slams down hand on table spilling a cup of soda:: i blame him for this.. him and our waitress who has proven most undeserving of a tip...

andy: ::slowly watches soda fall onto lap:: i don't know who i despise more, the waitress, the engineer, or you

joe: well the waitress deny's you food, the engineer deny's you thought and i deny you ::looks down at andys pants:: a life with dry pants.. so make your choice!! i shall be on the phone while you ponder the outcome...

andy: i'll be right back, my pajama pants that i am wearing underneith these match what i am wearing...well, they match through my eyes and that's all that matters... ::leaves::...... ::comes back with poke-a-doted pajama pants on and puts wet pants into large pocket of coat:: well...?

joe: uhm.. yeah, they look great.. ::hangs up phone:: ::waitress comes and serves them their burger after an hour:: you know i think she likes me...

andy: you say that about every girl you come across...the girl we killed liked you, the girl that you accidently fell on the time we went ice skating liked you, the girl that smacked you at the concert because you touched her butt liked you, all of my girlfriends liked you, hell, in your mind, the prostitute that gave you that std liked you...i could go on if i wanted to

joe: she didn't mean to give me and std.. and anyway look at the way she keeps looking at me, if she doesn't want me why would she keep giving me those sultry looks? ::winks at the waitress::

andy: ::takes dollar out of pocket:: you see this, this is why they do that...they are paid to...and they are tipped because they do...::reaches back in pocket::...and that was my only dollar, you're paying for this meal, i'll pay you back

joe: hey no fair.. i was gonna say that... ::face goes pale:: wait.. this isn't good is it?

::the waitress walks over to the table with a rather large bill::

waitress: so how will you two be paying for this and how much will you be tipping?

andy: ummm...::gets hands out of pockets that he was praying to find money in::...what are the methods that we can pay you in...name every single last one of them...and don't worry about the tip, we'll get to that too...

joe: uhm, yeah i'm willing to work off our debt any way possible ::wink wink::

waitress: ::sighs:: you can serve tables, sell certain body parts, clean out all the bathrooms with a toothbrush or battle each other to the death. the winner will be shot

andy: you know, none of those serve as a healthy idea to our lives at all...

waitress: did you say serve...wow, first guys to ever say that...

andy: d'oh

joe: remind me to kill you... ::both are dragged to the back and dressed in "hooters gear":: does this make me look fat?

andy: joe, i'm not going to answer that...wow, this is really snug on my ::smacked::...ok, so that was called for i guess...but seriously, is it really worth having a cleavage shirt if i don't have any cleavage...::looks at joe:: smack me again please

joe: yes.. i feel i should.. yet.. oh god ::drops a bottle of beer:: hey andy.. i think you should go cover the new customers... ::grabs two bottles of beer and runs to the nearest table::

andy: sure, where are they seated...

joe: ::points to the new table and then ducks out of site:: may god have mercy on his soul...

random guy: who are you talking to...?

joe: no one now stop looking down my shirt...

andy: ::makes a few uneasy steps towards table, stops to pull wedgie and then keeps on walking uneasily::...hmm, i wonder why joe would have been in such a rush to get out of sight, he acts as if the ::gasps and runs back into the kitchen area:: joe, joe, joe where are you???

random guy: he's mine now, go away!

joe: eep, i'm here ::jumps out from behind table:: andy.. you know who that is right?.. it's....

((joe: sorry but that's all the time we have for tonight. i gotta get to bed before my mom wakes up for work and yells at me. me and andy will continue work on this tomorrow, same joe and andy lj, same joe and andy.. uhm.. story))
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